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Impossibility Of Life’s Grand Design

 So I cut ties with my little brother of 18 years over the fact that he went ballistic on me after being chewed out for driving without a license to my house. How did that happen? I accidentally let it slip he came over from his lunch (as the high school he goes to is near my house) with his girlfriend which would probably be the one he covered for being under age drunk. He rather take the fall and yet, he had the balls to come at me, saying me to act my age and there’s no excuse. There isn’t but at that age, he hasn’t been granted the wisdom to know the difference from what is an excuse or whatnot. Life at that age hasn’t let him mature though I figure that he’s still making bad choices and that’s none of my business but when you make me feel inferior or insult me, I’m done. I  am sorry but I don’t have time for him to mature and I don’t need his added drama nor do I need his own excuses into my life; Though I hope going into the Marines can help him mature and better understand the world because no thing is black or white for there are shades of gray and that it doesn’t matter what you try to do, no one is truly right or wrong in the world. We can label “evil” or ” bad” but remember someone’s victor is someone’s conqueror. It’s really how you look at things.

I love him but despite how my mother is, there’s no excuse for him or my cousin. Yes, my aunt wasn’t the greatest mom but at least she cared enough and I saw it all as I was there in those age because I always spent my time there with my cousins. I am sorry but just because you had a rough past doesn’t mean that it excuses your behavior now and people do really change and want to heal the old wounds but you gotta let them try to be there. I remember being in the car with my cousin and her mom (my aunt) arguing and saying everyone knew she was a bad parent but she was only a bad parent because she wouldn’t put up with my cousin’s bad destructive habits like drugs and alcohol. If you don’t allow those people to do what they want, you are labelled as a monster or a horrible person and that’s what I am saying that my own brother is the same. Spoiled by my father that only wanted boys and discarded me when I got older but honestly regardless of how he lived or how he’s treated, he is not excused and while he is valid in his feelings, he can’t go around hurting people for a mistake when I have always been on his side.

I just don’t have time to deal with his’ “fuck you” or whatnot. I can’t deal with the tears and just the nastiness of him because I left that life behind and I hope and chant that he realizes the kind of hurt he caused and grows up. No doubt it will happen with the military and the Marines or else he’s having a hard time indeed. No amount of pain in the past can excuse hurting others despite hurting yourself and even if you don’t realize it, don’t do it.

No, age is no excuse is either and I want him to realize that I am not living a wonderful “life” at home and that his words do have consequences but in the end, in the end, he’ll be alone with his own thoughts. His own problem.

But Easter was great, but I started off the weekend with taking care of my neighbor’s dogs because she was stuck at work for the night and she later reunited with them, and gracing me with a Cheesecake.

Easter Cheesecake.

The dogs: Sage and Roxie
Cheep Cheep
But Easter was great with my mother and my uncle that once was dating my aunt but old wounds have healed and we can stand together and be peaceful. I am glad happiness can be found in the dark.

Posted on April 17th, 2017 in Blog, pictures by Michelle. 3 Comments

Posted on April 17th, 2017, at 1:25 pm by Sasha.

In advance: I’m a pessimistic, mistrusting and drastic person, so forgive me if I sound too harsh.

If your brother acts like that at 18 and thinks that’s normal because your father spoiled him, Marines will hardly be able to straighten him sadly; they don’t take that kind of sh*t for long, and he’ll likely end up being discharged very quickly (maybe even with dishonour).
Your father sounds like an archaic sexist – the kind of one who tries to demean women because he’s scared of them – and he apparently teached your brother his views….yeah well, imo both deserve a good kick in their rears and every possible fu*k you.
I bet that, when your brother told you to “act your age”, he actually meant “stay in your place and don’t question me”…..(**TO YOUR BROTHER**) sorry kid, it doesn’t work that way. On the contrary, just stfu as you has not enough life experience to be “entitled” to sprout such BS….especially to your sister.

I was almost forgetting to thank you for your comment. 🙂 adore the Star Treek reboot movies – my favorite is Into Darkenss, also because Benedict Cumbertach…duh. 😀

Posted on April 19th, 2017, at 11:58 am by Gillan.

I would’ve done the same in your place. I can’t stand people who don’t respect me as a person. I do hope your brother straightens out in the marines. It is a hard place and life to live and hopefully he comes to the realization that he is in the wrong for disrespecting you.
Your father sounds very problematic. Your younger brother seems he took after him.
Parents who do not tolerate bad behavior are not bad parents, they’re actually good ones.
Aww, Sage and Roxie looks so cute! Are they both girls?
The cheesecake looks so yummy! I’m glad you had a fun Easter 😊
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Posted on April 20th, 2017, at 10:06 pm by Kenny.

If your brother is a mess as is, I don’t think the Marines will help him change drastically. I’m nowhere near as troubled as your brother is, and I can tell you that if I were in the Marines, I would get into a fetal position and cry.

Love the cheesecake. Yum.
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