Settling Into Dreams’ Openness

SO a lot of things happened like: Marley getting hit by a car and while I didn’t see the accident, I ran to it because she ran to the road in hopes of catching the mail man on the other side. He always carries dog treats and Labradors are known genetically to be more greedy than most breeds and that’s why they can get fat quickly! Luckily, Marley has been very active and I take her on walks every week or so to the park because she loves them dearly and she’s doing hella awesome walking on a leash, regardless, she got hit last Saturday before Father’s Day. She only had a big cut in her ear and was bleeding from it, but besides the limping…she was still in a lot of pain, so my ex (literally. He became one of my greatest friends! Not many exes can do that. We both realized that we weren’t meant to be and quietly resumed our friendship because we get along too well and we both carry the memories of love in our hearts. Memories are beautiful but I never dwell on them anymore, not worth it. I am in love with my husband, Jose) took me and Marley to the emergency vet. She had soft tissue damage, mostly.

Marley on Saturday
I cannot thank this man enough and it helped that he was trying to calm me down because I am a scary and frightened dog momma and Marley, ever since Saturday, has been on Tramadol (pain meds) and Carprofen (anti inflammatory meds) and is responding very well to treatment along with keeping her spirits up. She’s an amazing dog and while I don’t necessarily believe in miracles, I can believe in Marley.

Then Father’s Day hit on Sunday and I was left in a tizzy because I have a third world country father who believes in the ideals that women aren’t equal to men and it hurts that he uses this culture against me, despite me loving my Hispanic, Salvadoran side. I love that country to bits and despite the bad of it, I will eventually go back because it was peace. I wished my father a happy day but he isn’t my father as my father in law has fulfilled that role quite much. He calls me his beautiful girl and is happy that my husband is happy and what else could a father ask for? His son to be happy…happiness is what you give it and what you take from it. Happiness isn’t a warm anything, sorry Beatles, but happiness is something that is achievable in one’s life if one strives hard for it though there are obstacles if and when but happiness always waits.

I lost 6 lbs and I am back at 216.4 lbs so that’s good because my med, Lamictal, the mood stabilizer is helping not only my weight but my moods and anxiety, and I couldn’t be happier in that respect. I guess with the days counting down to the appointment to sit with the job agency makes me feel glad and sad too. I still don’t believe I should be working but I don’t qualify for disability because I haven’t worked enough despite having the issues I do. I just hope that things work out well with jobs and I can keep one.


Both nonfiction and quite the reads
Me with redyed hair
Got tired of the faded pinkish orange hair and decided to try Flamingo Pink by Jerome Russell and while it stains body and clothes and even bathtub (use comet to get it up. Works like a charm), it gave me this vibrant darkish pink color which I love. Mood wise, I have been well and energetic to a fault but I get things done and I am better each and every day but I still work on myself and my spending habits and despite some setbacks, I am doing much better these days. I guess self betterment is always the goal to finding our inner peace and I’ve started going to more Buddhist meetings again which is great!

Posted on June 20th, 2017 in Blog, pictures by Michelle. 7 Comments

Posted on June 20th, 2017, at 11:29 am by Sakura.

Oh dear. I’m glad that Marley is well now.

Posted on June 20th, 2017, at 7:35 pm by Maroon Caludin.

Oh dear! Poor doggy! I’m glad he’s doing well though! That’s always scary!

Congrats on the weight lost and I’m glad to hear you’re doing well!

Posted on June 21st, 2017, at 11:38 am by Amy.

Sorry to hear about Marley! That’s such an awful thing to happen, but at least he’s doing well now.

It’s nice that you and your ex can still be friends. I know that would be really difficult for most people, me included!

Congrats on losing 6lbs!
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Posted on June 21st, 2017, at 11:46 pm by Brandy.

I’m so glad to hear that Marley is doing so much better. <3
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Posted on June 22nd, 2017, at 3:17 am by stevevhan.

Oh Gosh! Marley atleast is now ok!

That’s just really sad to hear. I live in a third world country and men are thriving too, though now, bit by bit, equality is beng rolled out to people, even for the LGBT — Happy dad’s to your pa and in-law!

You guys are just so brave in dying your hair! Awesome!

Posted on June 25th, 2017, at 11:07 am by Yuki Motokane.

It breaks my heart to hear the news about Marley since I also have a labrador. It’s so great he’s getting better now!

Posted on June 27th, 2017, at 12:54 am by Cassidy.

I’m sorry about Marley D: I hope she’s doing better now.

I’m loving your hair! It’s really nice and whimsical. I think I’ll put a couple of purple streaks in my hair.