So, I’m battling a low grade fever and a bacterial upper respiratory infection which isn’t fun to say the least though the sweats and chills aren’t very nice, either. Somehow the sickness just crept up on me and started innocently enough with my throat swelling and feeling like shards of glass was in there and somehow going to ears and making them red and puffy; Because ears, nose and throat are connected to each other and why would there be a doctor that specialized in that if they weren’t? Because of this, I’m trying to keep up with responsibilities but that’s going down by the waist side and it’s sucking badly. I hate that I feel like shit and exhausted because I only got an hour of sleep but somehow, I can’t run from my own responsibilities with the dogs and somehow that can prepare me for motherhood because no matter how much I feel sick, kids go first. Their needs over mine at least when it comes to taking care of them.
Apparently, I was being ignored by a good friend because I managed to hurt feelings on Facebook about Republicans and it wasn’t pretty but she finally spoke to me about it. I apologized and said in general it was wrong of me to lump people that voted Republicans as bad people. I am easily manipulated by people and it’s my own fault, too. She realized that our friendship mattered more and thus we stayed friends. I just have a bad opinion about the Republican Party in general, that’s all from their policies and to their attacks on civil liberties and rights of people of color.
Previous entry mentioned that I got a movement disorder from my antipsychotic Latuda and I was honest about with my Nurse Practitioner so I was switched to another antipsychotic because I still have paranoid thoughts. It sucks badly that I get the feeling that everyone is conspiring against me when it is further from the truth. Love when my brain hurts me. Love having a mental illness-NOT. Trying to get SSI from the government which is Supplemental Security Income which can be helpful in our tight one income household plus, I can’t really work with my history and mental illness, so next Monday, I’ll be talking to my therapist and express my desire to do this. I need this to work out, I really do.
I am proud of that brat little brother of mine and I love him dearly and even enclosed the picture of him and me when he was still a month old. He was born in Jan of ’99 so I definitely remember mom in the hospital and I remember him coming home and I remember asking for a sibling because I was lonely and wanting a sister but glad I have a little brother now. I appreciate him better and though we can be different in temperament and mindset, we still love each other and that’s the good kind of support I need.
Jose and I are doing fine and I’m keeping myself occupied with other things and not really spending much which is good. He loves me and is a good person but he has a lot of problems but so do I. I guess we’ll continue to work on it and stay in love at the same time. Love that fishie of mine.
New layout coming, too.