Cake Walking Backwards

Sorry for not posting for awhile as I’ve been doing a lot of other things in real life and I just finished Persona 5 and I spent 100 hours in it, wow. It was a very satisfying game to play and if you’re into JRPGs, then I highly recommend this game and besides, it is a unique game that is stylish and the music is so jazzy and so cool that you’ll wanna listen to the music outside the game and I’ve been writing fanfiction (here) based on the story and it’s quite fun now that I’m back to my writing mode which I missed and someday, I’ll write my stories again. This is a good sign!

The last end of September was quite busy because an old school system was released by Nintendo and I managed to stand in line for 6 hours to get it. I’m talking about the SNES classic.

It is the mini version of the iconic console which has 21 games on it but already, it has been hacked by the community and thus, more classic games have been put on it but honestly, it comes with a lot of great games from Super Mario RPG to Star Fox 2 (which was never released until now) and now it has even better games with the hack and I quite enjoy it immensely and we got it on the release day which was September 29th at Walmart. My husband and I even made friends there and it was great and I even saw an old friend from high school. His daughter is the sister of my ex boyfriend so it was weird and just a flashback for me.

Chris and I
Then October came and I saw a lot of doctors like the Neurologist because I kept having blackouts and lost a lot of time and it happens a lot and since I’ve been off antipsychotics for awhile-no psychosis at all and it must mean that my brain has a problem again though I don’t know what treatment could help but I’ll have to wait and see. Have an EEG scheduled later this month and I am nervous to what could be found out and if this is no cause, then I am screwed. Oh well. Let’s hope for the best there. I’ve been going around the cities around me just finding what strikes my fancy and that includes a load of books!

Various types of books
It’s been a hell of a week as I am still getting over the mumps despite taking all of the medicine and I’m seeing my ENT next Monday along with dentist and that’s not fun but luckily, she is nice and is a private practice which I love more than a big one because I end up being screwed with the big dental practices and I love to support private practices and besides she is conventionally close to me and my therapist, which I haven’t been too in an awhile because I end up scheduling doctor appointments on Monday because my husband is only off that weekday and I can’t do anything on Sunday. It’s time consuming but with me, it has to be done with all the medication I take and how it’s important for me and that’s why it’s enrollment for our insurance again and it’s annoying because we have to a health assessment every year at the beginning to check everything and the fact is, it’s pretty much borderline crazy and the fact, that healthcare is going through a change which Trump and his cronies have been trying to push through and while he failed, ACA still stands and with its faults, it is better than being charged crazily for preexisting conditions and Trump’s plan was to let insurance companies decide how much they wanna drive up premiums for preexisting conditions and even pregnancy is one and just a whole list of them and no doubt, everyone would be impacted. In the end, he will try again but with support from the people that this healthcare bill will affect, we keep mobilizing and that’s wonderful. We’re strong as one and it’s time to show that we won’t stand for these things because healthcare is a right and without it, people will die. Sorry, if I went on a political rant but it’s nice to talk about these things that will affect people like me and it sucks that our government is trying to actively hurt people of color, LGBT and women with their policies that aim to dismantle protections and make bigotry, racism, and misogyny happen and make it too common.

Why we don’t have socialized medicine comes from the fear of “communism” and anything or threatening democracy or capitalism is evil and Stalin’s USSR was a big eye opener to what the US was afraid of,  and while we under Truman started the containment policy, the US got involved in countries like Vietnam and other South East Asian countries. We have no business being the world’s police and instead need to fix our own infrastructure instead and not focus too much on world politics because as a country we are falling apart and committing violence against our own citizens and encouraging that sort of violence against people that aren’t white or male. It needs to stop and Trump is instead not disavowing the violence and is still wavering on it. He’s a bad president and a bad person.

And when the hurricanes happened in Texas and other states, he talked about the size of the crowd instead of giving aid and it’s happening in Puerto Rico while he starts Twitter fights over first amendment rights of all Americans and I’m glad that other people call him out on it. He even tries to provoke North Korea and calling the leader Kim-Jong Un a “Rocket Man” and doesn’t take it seriously when he’s endangering people’s lives and trying to start wars with other nations. Sure, North Korea is a terrible country for killing and starving its citizens but the fact remains that it is backed by China and Russia and that’s a problem. I would hate for my little brother or anyone going to war because of our idiotic president.

Regardless, American politics is pretty fucked up this moment and there has to be a way to change it.

And that brings me to my next point: Being responsible for pets especially dogs and the mindset that dogs deserve to be outside only and I see that from a lot of Hispanic people and it is disheartening to know that and the fact it is happening near me and I just had to send an animal cruelty charge against it because this sweet pup is kept outside without affection and mostly water in the Texas changing weather when it goes to scorching fucking hot and then chilly and they only come out once a day to feed it, and this sweet pup is so starved for attention that he stands by the fence and is delighted to be petted and loved.

This is terrible. And another neighbor had a pit bull that he paid 300 dollars for and while he keeps it inside all the time and never socializes with the other dogs, he is tearing up things and stuck in his crate all the time and my dog mom and I used to bring him outside because the owners would be gone all the time.  Breeding is fine, I just think people need to cut it out because pit bulls are the most killed breed in the shelters because of their violent reputation and apparently Rottweilers and even German Shepard have gone through this breed discrimination in following decades and now, it is pit bull’s turn. Regardless, it angers me that they don’t realize that dogs and even cats are living creatures and need to be respected and the whole myth of dogs being pack animals is still widely believed and you need to be the leader but at the end of the day, you can be friends with the dog and treat them with respect and love and they will listen to you. Marley doesn’t respond at all to negative reinforcement but if it is positive, she listens and our bond grows each day.

Though, my husband has extreme anger issues and overreacts to things that don’t need to be escalated and sure, I have impulse problems but lately, I am doing my best not to let them control me, but when he found out I bought something months ago and before our talk about me not buying things anymore, he went ballistic and slammed things on the ground and threw a figure against a picture and broke the glass.

He has tried to hurt himself because he feels that me lying and going behind his back is as bad as “cheating” and he has unintentionally hurt me in his anger, but he is so blinded by that hot flash that he forgets. I told him straight up that I won’t tolerate it anymore and that if it happens again regardless of my actions, then I will leave with Marley and I have a place to go too, so I am not worried about that. I told him that while I love him, I refuse to live the life my mother did because that will escalate into domestic violence and I will not let it get that far as I already remember my mother being violently struck by father over pointless things and me trying to block it out with music, TV or anything to stop from hearing it. It’s a terrible thing to witness and I think my mother has problems still because of it and doesn’t take care of it.

I haven’t spoken to my mother in many months and I don’t miss her, but she is refusing to pay for her last phone bill and it has been grating on my nerves and while, I blocked her number, she is being petty just over 19 dollars. Let my husband pick it up as she lives like 5 minutes from me and be done with it. She’s infuriating honestly.\

Plus I have a stalker on my blog so I had to block two IPs from them because of that and the fact I can’t say much more than that on my blog because I am given trouble if I do and angry emails and the likes. Sigh. I still have Instagram, Twitter and Facebook to talk about it. I will not say much more. I just wish things were differently these days but oh well.

Posted on October 11th, 2017 in Blog, pictures by Michelle. 3 Comments

Posted on October 18th, 2017, at 10:13 am by Delphine.

I started playing Persona 5 this month!! I think I’m going to reach the half of the game soon haha it’s so good! It didn’t let down my expectations 😀 I’m amazed that you lined up for 6hrs to get the console, that’s some dedication!

I hope that your medical visits will go well and that things will calm down with your husband 🙁 lots of love!
Delphine recently posted…Hamburg – Day Two + Three + FourMy Profile

Posted on October 18th, 2017, at 7:12 pm by Lucien.

Thank you for the support, but I fear the situation is only getting worse – I’ll soon make an update edit about that. 🙁

People like that should be reported to the Animal Rescue services imo, so the dogs can be taken away from them and given to a more caring and deserving family.

Posted on October 21st, 2017, at 1:18 pm by Sakura.

A stalker? What did he/she do?