A Lone Player Enters The Atmosphere

Posted on January 27th, 2017 in Blog, pictures, Uncategorized, Writings by Michelle. 7 Comments

My husband, Jose got sick, too and so he’s been staying home from work for at least 4 days in a row now and while it’s bad, at least he gets paid on his sick days or else we’d be in trouble: but still, what’s up with Texas’ weather, huh? Like I’ve stated previously stated in my last entry, everyone is sick, everyone I know, too. At least, I got to spend more time with him and just have a better relationship with him, because our 4th anniversary is coming up…oh my god, how is that happening so fast? The sense of naivete is slowly fading away and surely and surely, I am finding a wonderful feeling like love is worth fighting and preserving entirely. How in the world is everything changing so fast around me? I am trying to smell the flowers and yet, the world metamorphosis so fast, that it’s becoming a even gentler and even worse thing to be living in, and yet the struggle is gorgeous and worth striving for. Perfection doesn’t belong nor do it need to be obtained for mistakes, frailties and even failures makes us work all harder for our dreams. I know the unobtainable things feel the worst so far away but in the end, it’s worth going and risking everything for those things, those moments that sparkle in your eyes, that lightens your heart, and makes your breath become almost a whisper. A whisper that only the tangible elements of the universe can speak and only then, it’s riddles and boggles the mind to know the true meaning of. Love is wholly realized and wholly almost pure in its form.

Love is wholly what you make it out to be and what you look for.

I guess in the end, love and life go hand in hand and not just the strong survive it, but the weak too. It gives wings and even strength of the heart to pursue even the most ardent and unquenchable feelings you have. You feel yourself lighter and lighter till not even gravity makes sense and the universe bends to you, and matter escapes from the palm of your hands, and to me, that’s the love I seek, the love I have. The love that keeps coming back even if I retreat in pain and anguish because I know it’s meant to be. Whether or not you believe in predetermination, fate, or any of those things, love is worth seeking out just for the joy of life.

Regardless, the paperwork is done, and my little brother at age 18 is an official Marine, though I feel very strongly against Trump and all the injustices he stands for and the people that rally behind him…I don’t want my brother to leave, to die, to be harmed and yet, he sealed himself because our parents couldn’t be loving and supportive as they should be, well my mother anyways, but my brother wants a life, a career and the military is the only way to live those dreams out and so I support and salute him highly, but knowing he’ll leave after graduation bums me out greatly. August. It’s not that far away now, and somehow I feel self centered to let him go to anywhere dangerous when the government clearly doesn’t care for its soldiers and such. It feels like every bad thing is snowballing into something worse and I have to have a damage report every morning to find the pain and division growing immensely.

Nothing says it best than Picard from STNG
But I find comfort knowing that my brother is somewhat level headed and lucky all the way around…too damn lucky to have survived but has, but me? For me? I made it by wits and even good survival skills I learned myself. I did it by myself, I learned to cook, myself: all trial and error but I did it because I was determined all around. Believe me, there were times of great doubt and great sorrow, but in order to flourish, you need to experience those things to grow up tall and strong. I did and will continue to have a steel will that adapts, that is flexible but at the same time, steady and happy. I deserve happiness and despite hating myself so much in the past, I am growing into a fine young woman without harm, without sadness that could take away my happiness. So, maybe it’s worth fighting for those things to keep them in place? I guess my resolve will be tested through these grueling four years, but I know that I need no justification to feel the way I do.

Yummy Salvadoran food: Pupusas! Had some today! Yasss
My newest cosplay: High School Usagi Tsukino from Sailor Moon. Yes, Marley is photobombing meΒ 
Β So be strong, be pure in your convictions and make the vision of your future what you want it to be. When your life comes together, it is worth the aggravation and trouble before it: the journey determines how the future will flow for you, and remember only you can make the make the changes necessary as it’s never too late for life to be the way you want it. Nothing is ever set in stone. Never too late to be you, never too late for anything in your life.

I love this post (the words of encouragement parts). It’s very uplifting and I can sense the will and passion in your words. Your whole last paragraph is so touching and I really needed to hear that. Thank you.
I hope everything continues positively for you too!

P.S. Great cosplay!

Posted on January 27th, 2017, at 7:44 PM by Pim.

Hi Michelle <3 How are you?
I'm sorry I was off hiatus I didn't think anyone carried 😞
Thank you for the visit though <3
Hope your husband gets better.

Posted on January 28th, 2017, at 8:20 AM by Jessica.

Hi! Sorry for never replying to your comment! I hope your husband gets better soon (and everyone around you). I went to pick up my mom’s medication the other day and the whole medical office and pharmacy was filled.

I hope your brother will be safe and I wish the best for you and your family.

Love your cosplay! Stay well~

Posted on January 28th, 2017, at 8:48 AM by Sakura.

Oh I see.. Hope that you can get back to school soon!

Hope your husband gets well soon too and glad that your brother is able to pursue his dreams with your support too!

Posted on January 29th, 2017, at 9:55 AM by Chynna.

Sorry to hear your husband is sick. Hope he gets better soon!

Wishing your brother safety πŸ™‚

Posted on January 29th, 2017, at 12:45 PM by Pauline.

It seems like a lot of people are getting sick recently πŸ™ I hope he gets better soon.

Posted on January 30th, 2017, at 4:17 PM by Joy.

Hey Michelle, I havent been active lately but now I’m back!! πŸ™‚ I wanted to let you know that I deleted my old blog (unnie.net) and I’m now at redvelvet.cc as Joy πŸ™‚ It would be super nice if you could change links! Thank you so much, I really appreciate it <3 Hope you have a nice day.