A Year In Review: All My Life

2018 was a year I can’t forget…

Why do I say that? I say that in part because it was a year of pain, anguish and even much so recognition of growth, of maturity that often doesn’t come up very much and if I summed up 2018?I don’t know.

I fought against the very demons in me

The context is that I began yo yo in moods and I couldn’t stop the weeks of good the bad and I began wrecking myself with self harm. It affected my relationship harshly with my husband plus my spending was out of control. It was the very thing that nearly destroyed my marriage last year. After neurological testing was done, as I still await the results, it made me see life in a different way and how I needed to fix what was wrong and actually motivate myself this year (2019) becoming functional in the end. The self harm injury healed and so did my soul from it. Was it worth it? Nope, not at all. Not at all when it harms not only myself but others especially my husband. It wasn’t quite correct in believing that it was okay from the start despite my relapse, I was still treated as a person that deserved care and love, to me that’s the sort of community and support I needed greatly.

Worked a bit but it turned out to be a total disaster with on job harassment and a management not willing to do more though it showed that I could and can hold down a job. I can do what is possible if I just try. If I just try.

Taking control again

Lost. Gained. Lost. Gained. weight like crazy ranging from the lowest to 210 to the highest in a long time 230 lbs but I’m happy to say I’ve lost that 10 lbs putting me at 220 and while that’s not healthy in the slightest, it is a step because I stopped drinking soda and consuming sweets which were the hardest part of the whole transition; Without caffeine and sugar, I am doing super now. No more sleep deprivation, more energy and sleeping quite well now. No mood changes because caffeine can do that to you especially when dealing with mental illness and such;



Changed myself for the better

Changed my appearance from my hair to my new glasses which are complete love and ended up becoming into my own and just awarded the opportunity to do so because I was guided and supported.

Made friends. Lost them. Made friends and found out who’s true and not which I am grateful even if perplexed that a lot of it was very difficult in the end, but it’s worth it. All good things are worth it.


Besides the usual losing weight, it’s mostly focusing on myself and repairing my marriage e.g regaining my husband’s trust and being functional then petting all the doggos I see or can pet. PET THEM.


Posted on January 11th, 2019 in Blog, pictures by Michelle. 7 Comments

You’re gorgeous as usual, Michelle. 🙂

You had a rough year last year but you pulled through. Many wishes to a better year.

Posted on January 12th, 2019, at 7:48 PM by stevevhan.

I love reading this, the assertiveness you have in life Michelle is your key to success! I hope you well this year and be just you! You are beautiful. <3

Posted on January 13th, 2019, at 4:55 AM by Claudine.

Happy New Year Michelle! I’m so sorry 2018 was rough for you. But despite that, you’ve achieved a lot in terms of lifestyle changes (yay to stopping your soda drinking!) and self-realizations! I wish you all the best and I hope you do well on your resolutions. You’ve had a great community by your side in 2018, and I am sure they will continue to support you <3

Posted on January 14th, 2019, at 12:17 AM by Megan.

Seems its been a rough year for you, but you’ve grown too. You can function if you try and you should be proud of that. And you may of made mistakes (we all do), but you’re learning and that’s the important thing!

You make me want to cut out soda. I know I should, its just hard. I commend you for doing it!

I hope you have an awesome year!

Posted on January 25th, 2019, at 4:22 PM by Shanae.

Weight loss is always my biggest enemy next to my anxiety and depression. I took 2018 and basically spent an entire year feeling sorry for myself because I was dealt a bad hand, and it’ll never get any better, blah, blah, blah… You know the drill. I’m determined to change that this year, as I will be graduating college in a few months with a bachelors in history, minor in Human resources, and then attempting for my web development degree after. I am nearly 30 and still have no idea where I want my life to go, but slowly I am figuring it out.
I commend you for everything you did this year, and I bet we will both have a MUCH better 2019!

Posted on January 25th, 2019, at 8:12 PM by Deanna.

I’m happy to hear you’re on the road to recovery. It sounds like you’re doing a great job. I’m sure you can complete your goals this year.

Posted on February 10th, 2019, at 3:39 AM by Julia.

First off your site is so cute! Love the layout.
I’m sorry 2018 was so rough on you but you pulled through and on the way to recovery.
Congrats on stop drinking soda and consuming sweets . That takes such a insane amount of will power.