Bonds We Treasure

Posted on June 20th, 2018 in Blog, pictures by Michelle. 4 Comments

It’s been an interesting few weeks honestly and while I can say that I had bad and good days, it wasn’t so bad after all despite me dealing with renewed depression. I won’t go into length because I know that’s difficult to understand and people don’t care much for reading it but realize that it is part of my life. Part of me, and while it doesn’t define me, I know that I can manage it wholeheartedly and continue to strive for recovery. So, that’s why I switched antipsychotics and also dropped a few meds to help with the process of gathering my mind together and that’s very crucial. Usually, a lot of the meds I take are used off label and it means that they aren’t used in the way they are supposed to but it’s okay because it’s totally legal and they can benefit other symptoms of any disorder.

The new antipsychotic
The story goes that I had to drop it in 2016 due to my insurance refusal to cover it unless I tried other antipsychotics now that I have done that I can definitely take it with no real cost to me. Health insurance is so fucked up in America and despite having great insurance there always is a deductible that I have to meet in order for my insurance to pay for nearly all of it. Don’t worry, I won’t really go into politics on the matter because it’s a sticky subject for anyone to be hurt by.

Then I happened to watch the dogs again for my neighbor as she went out of town to visit her daughter and grandchild for a graduation which is weird for 3rd grade honestly which really cheapens the whole high school graduation being important for anyone. It is just weird, honestly but whatever, my neighbor went and so I managed to take care of what I had to and of course I certainly do get paid for my activities with the dogs, and to starve off their uncomfortableness, I managed to pet and love them so much but of course, I loved them from the beginning but only now after 3 years of living here, they have grown to trust me and besides they love Marley and she loves them right back.

The doggos
Growing my hair out
Then it was father’s day and I ended up celebrating my own father, father in law and father figure; Each of them touched my life in various ways and while we should always treasure them, it helps to be reminded of the appreciation we have for them.

father in law
father figure

Thank you for loving me for all my faults and taking chances on me when no one would. I love you all!

Health insurance companies really are messed up. I’m not insured right now (but I thank God for taking care of during this time), but when I was on my dad’s and his company changed to someone else, the new company was like, “We don’t support EpiPen autoinjectors, but here are some others you can use,” even though EpiPen was said to be #thebest at the time. They even recommended I switch to an antihistamine to take regularly instead. Like, whaat?

Anyway, I don’t quite understand “renewed depression”, but I do have Major Depressive Disorder, which is essentially means my depression comes and goes; episodes are repeated. It doesn’t make anything any better, as it’s still all shitty feelings and overall experiences. I wish you well with your health!

Posted on June 28th, 2018, at 7:27 PM by Kirsten.

Health insurance companies are so hard to deal with no matter where you live I think, at least they are here in Canada too. It seems like a constant struggle to get them to cover things and sometimes after covering something for years they suddenly want you to prove that you need that specific drug and that they want you to switch to something else when that particular medication is working so well. I recently had a struggle not with them covering something but with the amount they would cover at once to save myself money in the long run since my Libre sensors need to be ordered online or over the phone and delivered (not available in pharmacies here yet) they wouldn’t allow me to get 4 at a time which Abbott said I had to to get free shipping but they would only cover 2 at a time at $30 a pop for shipping (an extra $30 a month out of pocket). If it’s not one thing it’s another.

I think that by “renewed depression” you probably mean that it was under control but is now back again? Or worse then it was? I understand that all too well. I remember getting it under control only to have it return over and over again. It something I know I will struggle with all of my life even though I currently am not on medication I understand I may need to again at some point down the road. Or I might not. It’s so hard to say. I hope that the new antipsychotic helps you get everything back under control again.

My doctor also used to occasionally prescribe medications for me for depression, anxiety, or fibromyalgia and even to try and help us with conceiving once (metformin which is a diabetes medication that can help with female infertility sometimes). Sometimes it works out well. I took it for diabetes at one point but then was prescribed it again for fertility issues and it meant I could also use a bit less insulin. I had to stop it though because of the other side effects.

Posted on June 29th, 2018, at 4:03 PM by Amy.

I find the US health system so weird. I’ve spent my whole life in the U.K., where healthcare is free for the most part, and I can’t imagine what it’s like without that reassurance. So sorry to hear that you had to go off of pills because of that. That’s so ridiculous!

Hope you had fun looking after the dogs. They’re so cute!

Posted on June 30th, 2018, at 10:45 AM by Gillan.

I’m glad that you’re now back on your old anti-psychotics but also sad for your renewed depression. We’re here to support you no matter what.
I’ve read about your healthcare system on the news and they really are screwed up. Then again the healthcare system in the Philippines isn’t better. I currently have no health insurance because I’m not a regular employee (broadcasting companies here rarely have regular workers.)
I love your hair! What color is it? I’m eyeing to color my hair brown again, just don’t know what specific shade.
Aww, I love my dad and it looks like your fathers had a great time celebrating with you!