“Distant flickering, greener scenery.
This weather’s bringing it all back again.
Great adventures, faces and condensation.
I’m going outside to take it all in.
It’s always with some regret that I remember things I shouldn’t, and remember all the bad things. It has been years since I’ve done something drastic, but I always say goodbye to the memories I once held precious. Things out of my control, but I know that I can take it all in and just live the life I want to. It’s not been easy to look back and be proud of things I’ve done but survival is what I did. It’s regret and pings of that gets me sometimes, but I try to look forward. My gaze is always different everyday and sometimes I relapse, but I’m doing the best I can do. I feel stuck sometimes. I feel as if I am in a headlock and can’t get out sometimes. I guess we all follow into the rut.
You say too late to start, got your heart in a headlock,
I don’t believe any of it.
You say too late to start, with your heart in a headlock,
You know you’re better than this.
I don’t believe anything is too late. I don’t believe it’s too late to be me. Depression just sucks sometimes. It sucks all the good and replaces the good truths with bad lies, lies all the time. The stars couldn’t keep up with me. I’ve been doing better emotionally, though I know I have to face that fear and that small child in me.
We’re a different pair, do something out of step.
Throw a stranger an unexpected smile…with big intention.
Still posted at your station.
Always on about the day it should have flied…”
That’s why I try to be kind to everyone. You never know the battles people go through in their lives and a little smile goes along way. Smiles and compliments go further on. No intention other than be yourself. That’s how I tackle every day. Just a smile and a positive attitude no matter how much it can hurt some days. I think seeing people smile and be happy helps my heart heal.
you have been waiting long enough.
you’re done with all the talk talk talk with nothing on the table.
it’s time to come on out.
there will be no sign from above.
you’ll only hear the knock knock knock of your own heart as signal.
I guess I get tired of not living life I should, this depression is really weighing me down so bad…I guess I look above and think something will happen, as I’m not a particular religious, per say, but I still believe in something, but maybe my heart is trying to tell me things that I refuse to believe? I guess I’ve been stuck in some many ruts that I forgot to be happy for once, to smile for a change. I’m always so serious, and always lacking in things I should be doing. I should be enjoying life, shouldn’t I? I’m not. I’m wasting them wallowing in my self pity and letting things get to me. I shouldn’t do that, I shouldn’t let people’s opinions get to me and hold me down. I’m tired of letting words get to me and hurt me like they have. Words shouldn’t have that power, unless I let them.