I can’t begin to tell about the events of the last week and as my last two weeks are nearly done, work is gonna resume with limited hours and I couldn’t be happier about that. SO HAPPY. I missed working because of the energy and it seems things have gotten a bit better, just a bit with Texas reopening but I don’t know sometimes. It’s been crazy but we’re handling it the best we can, and by us, I mean my husband and I. I guess our relationship has been strained at best because of my spending…
I know why it happens but it hurts us financially.
I hate how I am the toxic one but know that I care deeply for him, I just don’t show it in the most appropriate way. Plus the whole meeting and gaining new friends, is a bust. If I don’t know and we haven’t talked in a long way etc; then it’s hard for me to even open up and if I open up because you invited me to and if there are problems, I expect people to treat me like an adult and actually talk to ME about it instead of talking about me behind my back to someone else.
I’m not unapproachable, in fact, I’ll probably-more than likely understand better than you realize because sometimes I don’t recognize or realize how I’m hurting people but if I’m told then, hell, I’ll do my best not to do it again and acknowledge it. Hell, I’m willing to learn and take in valid criticism for my behavior as I know I’m not for everyone, but to be nice to my face is a lie and hurts worse. Stop hiding behind the word friendship and be honest for once. This is just a general vent and frustration from me dealing with other people in real life and online. Not really directed to those that care much as it’s already done.
Also cut off my mother. Done with her antics, honestly and it’s the best decision of my life.