Diamonds Are In My Eyes

 New layout featuring the game, Scribblenauts and a more playful scenario.

Thank you to my bestie Cristina for creating the layout for me and in the end, being a great friend! She’s more than my graphic designer but a great friend that I’ve had for years and have told my life’s struggles to and her’s to me. I picked Scribblenauts due to the whole playful nature of what could be done in the game and still have so much fun. I recommend Scribblenauts on any platform because of how versatile the solutions are to the puzzles. Still, things have been going on…

Jose, my husband took off a full week for our anniversary forgetting it landed on the 13th and not this week but regardless, I’m happy he’s home. Our relationship is better with me working and though, there’s some trouble with work when it came to unfairness by the store management, and me refusing hours and realizing that work isn’t idealistic as I remember it being. Employees don’t have to be your friends but there are rare times that I do make friends and somehow, it can stick and it has. Work has been hell with the hours being given, either I am given too much or not enough but with Jose’s pay rising to more than 20 an hour (he works at a bank) and us paying off credit cards and finally our car (soonish) as well have less than an 1000 on it. Yeah! After that, we’re looking into getting pregnant, as I’ve already taken steps to get ready for that.

Weaning off the meds I take that can hurt a potential pregnancy and me zipping into losing weight and keeping it off for the sake of less “complications” but in the end, it’s good for me and for us. I noted that my therapist died and I still haven’t at this time got a new one, but here, I missed the memorial by relying on family but in the end, at least, she has helped me recover and manage in my own ways.

That legacy of helping her patients lives on, and I’ll go as if I still treasure those sessions. I’ll always treasure them and reach for that recovery all the time.

R.I.PThe perils of being a relationship with a neurotypical is the fact that it’s a struggle for them to understand the implications of someone they love not being “normal” or mentally ill. I love Jose to death but honestly, after today and yesterday, our marriage was really on shaky grounds and we tried and successfully reconciled the thought that I cannot control entirely my condition; Trauma is like that and while, I haven’t talked about my own trauma, it affects me everyday to the point that it becomes me and it shouldn’t, but with Jose, reinforcing that bad notion that I am somewhat “damaged” but no fault of his own, he tried to understand and tries continually but, out of love, he doesn’t want to think I’m “damaged” and that I can do all the functional things possible. I can’t all the time and with work making it difficult on me, I know that he tries to be sympathetic to me and…I just love him. He isn’t afraid to cry or show his emotions to me and will still fight for us. He loves me.

New haircutHe truly is in love with me and I feel the same as him and while, it’s been a difficult road, sometimes caused by my own hands and my own spending habits and his own naivety; our relationship is strong as he treats me right and I’m lucky to have never been cheated on etc; in any relationship but feeling like a disappointment in knowing I want kids and knowing that others disapprove makes it harder to wanna conceive. I guess, there is some support from my aunt that is like my mother in a lot of ways that my own mother failed to be and knowing that I am loved….that others don’t wanna see me hurt….and in pain….Jose, my aunt and others are there for me, always.

 

Happy 7th wedding anniversary to us on the 9th of March!!!!!