Don’t Say More Right Now

Thank you all for the condolences as they mean the world to me. Thank you so much!

Trying to survive while knowing that death is inevitable is difficult honestly but I am doing better but it seems like everyone I love is going away and that saddens me. Hurts my heart a lot but I know they are off to better things in life and we’ll always stay in touch with each other but it’s just…hurts a lot. Not in a bad way but just a way that I cannot describe because I got rid of the toxic friends in my life and the ones that ignored me entirely. I am better off without them but it sucks not to have human contact at all, yet there is some good news: I got a job! What job do you ask? I will be giving out samples (aka demos) of food and drinks (mostly alcohol) but it pays well from 10-13 dollars an hour which is way above the minimum wage and besides this will do me some good and get me to the track of being functional again which I sorely need and I can have my own money, too.

It’s going to be difficult the first few days but I gotta tell myself that it’s worth doing and focus on realizing my goals for the future. The future I so desperately want. I have to be prepared for the worst and best coming my way with this new job but right now, it’s training and paperwork and soon, I’ll be on the field in grocery stores like Walmart doing my job.

The memorial service is soon for my mother figure (23rd of this month) and so, I’ll see if I can go but since I’ll be working, I don’t know if I can attend but I will try my hardest. Try my most damn to go but it isn’t for a while and while the memories can sting, it is worth knowing like all the people I lost that, it isn’t the end. Death really is the beginning of immortality.

Though I’ve played games recently especially finishing the Kingdom Hearts series and waiting impatiently for Kingdom Hearts 3 and at E3, the release date will be revealed and we’ll go because of the preorder we still have with Walmart. So, I’ve started on the dot hack// series and I forgot how much I love it. Forgot how it influenced the other stuck in the mmorpgs like Sword Art Online but with depth and a philosophical story about what is real vs. not real. It’s a great series and while, I have the original dot hack// game series on Playstation except for the second one, as they go for hundreds of dollars by themselves, so when dot hack//recode was announced, it was certainly a first day buy for us and I don’t regret that purchase in the slightest.

Dot hack//recode is the remaster of dot hack//G.U and greatly so, the story is just amazing…and ah! I can’t express how in depth everything is with the characters and plot, but it just is. It just is.

Plus I got a few things preordered and ordered for me!

Just a few things from different fandoms: Persona 5, Nier Automata, Code Geass and starting an Ita (Japanese for Painful) bag

My new purse and wallet! Pokemon and Kiki’s Delivery Service
My collection of ever-growing Furbies

Posted on June 9th, 2018 in Blog, pictures by Michelle. 5 Comments

Oh the pokemon bag looks very cute!

Posted on June 10th, 2018, at 3:08 AM by Sakura.

Congratulations on your new job! I’m glad you’ve began moving forward from grief. And I’m so sorry about your toxic friends, you were right to cut them off your life. You have enough on your plate as it is.
I’ve never heard of the dot hack// game because I’ve never played on a console (my brother is strictly PC master race lmao) but it looks interesting!

Posted on June 10th, 2018, at 9:28 AM by Gillan.

So sorry to hear about your loss, Michelle. I’m glad to hear you’re moving forward, but that can’t be easy to deal with. Hope you’re doing okay and have lots of people by your side to help.

Congrats on the job! That sounds like a lot of fun and it’s great that you’re getting back on track. The money sounds great too!

I love the Kingdom Hearts games. I bought the last one for PS3 and then they instantly released it on PS4 which was so annoying. The PS3 has to be replugged in every time I want to play it! Might just rebuy!

Posted on June 12th, 2018, at 4:28 PM by Amy.

Congrats on the job! I hope it goes well.

I hope your able to go to the service…and if not you can always go to the gravesite to pay your respects on your own. Plus I’m sure she knows she’s in your thoughts.

I never go into .Hack too much. I did like the Twilight Bracelet anime though.

Posted on June 12th, 2018, at 9:42 PM by Megan.

Congrats on getting the new job! I know a lady who does that often and seems to really enjoy it so I hope you do. 🙂

Posted on June 15th, 2018, at 2:47 PM by Ashley.

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