Goodbye Doves

My relationship with my mom is no more because honestly, she got mad about changing and canceling her service with T-mobile when she was on our plan. The deal was she wanted to only spend 30 when her bill with us was 45, so she was trying to take advantage of us in short like she always does and thinks she’s entitled to things again like she always is. She always expects everyone to bend to her will and if they don’t, she throws a fit. She called me a bitch because I was worried about billing for the cell service and also the fact she was not prioritizing what needed to be done and filling it with excuses and she wanted to be with her married boyfriend. She defines herself as a person that needs a man to be complete and thus puts high expectations in people she’s dating and thus she can never find anyone. She wants the guys to pay her money every month and it’s unheard of, really because what’s wrong with her? And she’s with a married man and has been for 16 years and yet, she is miserable but can’t let go. In the end, she grated on my nerves about her problems being top priority and I remember when I called her after my car accident and she was like, “okay.” that’s not the response that mothers should have about their children in terrible situations. She’s lacking in maternal instinct and she’s told me that before but oh well.

Sure, she has gone through a lot in her life but it doesn’t mean that she should take it out on me or my little brother and in the end, she will be alone because she’s pushed us all away and it’s not our fault. We’ve tried to be good children and take her abuse but in the end, it’s goodbye forever. I don’t intend to let her make contact with me again just because she’s “lonely.” as I intend to stick to my guns and not talk to her for a long time, maybe forever. In the end, it’s over with me and her and this vicious cycle is done.

New look on the blog by the lovely Cristina of Lovemore,and the artists have been credited but of course, I commissioned these pieces so, yeah.

I fought with my husband again because though I am bad with money, we really had none because of the high electricity bill and the plan we were on for our electricity; But don’t worry, I fixed it with the help of my mother before she stopped talking to me. So, I’ve been spending little here and there but it finally came to a head because I want to bring back the allowance and promised to be better without spending over and besides, it isn’t my entire fault with money, it’s just that I think accumulating it doesn’t do any good since it is worthless as it’s not backed by anything and I tend to spend without abandon, in the end, we squared it away.

Dealing with my bacterial infection still, but it’s going away with the second round of antibiotics and hopefully it clears soon. I am just tired of being sick for so long and neglecting a lot of things and it sucks because my husband is quite lazy and I’m being lazy but don’t worry, I’m doing the most important chores there are, so that’s fine.I am still alive and that’s the important thing so far and I’m trying to be happy and pursue that happiness in my life despite a lot of it being in the wrong most of the time.

Done by Corbee Art 
Done by Allie Malott

Other Things

Listening to (artists): Daoko, Wednesday Campanella, Bolbbalgan4, Neon Bunny,

MoT, Monni, Belanova, Fiona Fung, Shoji Meguro, Shandy Gan,

Playing: Hatoful Boyfriend, Kingdom Hearts HD Final Mix, Persona 5

Posted on September 6th, 2017 in Blog, pictures by Michelle. 5 Comments

Oh, I’ve had my fair share of issues with my Mother as well. Unfortunately, she’s an alcoholic and like any addict, is in denial. It’s very difficult to deal with. :/

Bacterial infections are pretty miserable. I’ve had plenty of those, sinus infections, and bronchitis. Knock on wood, my immune system has been pretty good lately, because I’m on a daily regimen of vitamin C and D for Endometriosis suppression. I used to get sick about 4-5 times a year at one point!

Posted on September 6th, 2017, at 10:05 PM by Brandy.

It sounds like you have so much going on right now…I’m sorry to hear all of this! I think putting some distance between you and your mom will help to lower your stress level, which will allow your body to heal faster from that nasty infection. I know the situation with your mom is terrible and rough on you, but some tough love will do some good for her, and will show her that she cannot push you and your brother around anymore. Stay strong <3
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Posted on September 7th, 2017, at 3:11 AM by Angie.

Great post – thanks for sharing!

Heather xx

Posted on September 7th, 2017, at 7:12 AM by Heather Rowland.

Sorry to hear about what happened with your mom, Michelle. That sounds like an awful situation to be in, so sorry that she tried to take advantage of you like that. Hope you’re doing okay, and hope you’re feeling better soon!
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Posted on September 8th, 2017, at 2:27 PM by Amy.

Glad your infection’s getting better. Those thing just take time and body’s strength to get over, so it’s pretty annoying. Thank goodness for medications these days.

Money in the grand scheme of things is pointless, because you can never have enough, and there’s always more and more to be had, but it’s definitely good to not waste it on unnecessary things, so when emergencies do happen, they can be paid for. And buying more things requires more space or increases clutter, but at the same time, I’ve never felt much fuller because of the small things I’ve bought. I’ve been trying to buy with intention these days, and only buying things I really have a use for, and it’s difficult process, but it helps a lot with keeping the amount of extraneous stuff in my apartment low, and gives me much less regret later for spending money on unnecessary things that I now have to find a way to use or donate. And it’s nice knowing that when huge expenses hit, I am able to pay for the without having to take out loans or put it on a credit card that I would have to spend a year repaying. Even if I never do end up using it for emergencies, the sense of security I feel because it’s there, whether as investments or in my bank, is very helpful for maintaining my calm even while I’m paying thousands a month in medical bills.

Hope your family situation gives you less stress now that you’re “away.” I’ve more or less dropped my communication with my mom for a while because she was getting to be completely unreasonable, and we’re slowly mending it back, piece by piece. Sometimes it takes a real break and cool down period to start piecing together something like that. Family has a weird way of being entitled just because of a blood-bind…

Posted on September 8th, 2017, at 6:55 PM by Hiro.

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