I am literally Public Enemy Number 1, and all because I discreetly mentioned that my cousin died (no name, no picture) of possibly a suicide (from the last person that saw and spoke to my cousin, and this cousin’s last words to her younger brother) and forgetting that I am friends with my family, they all freaked as my aunt spies on me through her husband’s Facebook profile and has says stuff that makes me wonder. Sure, I haven’t posted up the most lightful things but in the end, I just have to be me. Same with my in laws as they creepily asked about my stalker issues last Thanksgiving as casual conversation and always speaks Spanish and leaves me out purposely. It is hard for anyone to accept that family or friends could be capable of suicide or attempted suicide. I don’t mean to devalue her life or its choices, but honestly, suicide is the angriest thing you could do to yourself and others.
It’s like a bomb going off and not only taking out you but others too, but in the end, nothing is worth taking your life for: no breaks up, no feelings because those things pass and in the end, you’re denying yourself the possibility to live and I’ve been there before and attempted but this is what I’ve learnt. Somehow, I decided to go to the wake and while it was sad, it was great seeing people and while I understand the pain of others, it didn’t have to happen but my cousin made a permanent decision on temporarily feelings. Believe me, I know how it feels because life has is demanding that you cannot believe and love can weaken someone. Love can be a factor in despair but you cannot falter and even in desperate situations, there is always a hope that things can get better and you gotta seize it. So, when I burn my bridges with my mother’s side of the family, I am relieved, am grateful that the extra baggage is gone.
In the end, I gotta do what is right for me and if it means burning bridges, I will do it.
Plus a new layout is coming. Yay! I can’t wait, honestly!