LONG time no blog, right? But I am back with a new entry with a new view in my life and all the happenings of the world at least from how I interpret it etc; Regardless, a lot of events happened since September and like before, here we go!
As you know Halloween is in a few weeks so Jose, my husband, on a momentous decision to sell all our Halloween stuff because it gets too costly to have parties and no one ever shows up, and that’s a drag honestly. I guess it’s time to grow up and enjoy the adult world which is aggravating honestly but it’s something that we have to face eventually but besides that, with Halloween being his favorite holiday, we can at least declutter the duplex.
Then in November, Marley grows older! She’ll be four and I can’t believe how much she has grown! But she has a good 12-14 years due to the fact she’s mostly Labrador Retriever and Shepherd bur which kind? Dunno honestly but it’s fine! But look at her puppy and then her adult self! I wonder if children grow like this and even if she’s a dog, she’s my ESA (Emotional Support Animal).
Then I’m getting Neurological testing done on the 19th of this month so I’m extremely nervous but I was completely frank and gave the best history of my childhood and beyond. I still have underlying causes that prevent me from stable though working at this moment is not acceptable or needed because of how I am. I have extreme weeks up and down and it’s beyond the point of healthy so testing will be done and then working through it will help but this chronic-lifetime and my mother plus family doesn’t understand that. I can’t just take a pill and everything be better because I am literally traumatized by so much in life and work really stresses me out to the point of wanting to hurt myself. I want to be stable but it’s difficult if other underlying issues are hindering me but this is something I have to work on for the rest of my life and no one understands this. I can’t even change their minds but I expect a lot of shit from my family because of my hair to my mental health is bad but I stay away from them. I stay far from them because of how toxic they can be.
I had to block someone I considered a cousin because he said inappropriate things to me. If I grew up with you and have no inclinations to think anything sexual towards family like that. There is a reason why incest is taboo and why it bothers people so bad. How can anyone say those things to me? I don’t wanna have sex with you-I don’t think like that and you’re family. It’s just…just disgusting. Sigh.
In the end, things do change and hopefully, I’ll get some answers to my questions that bother me and that the testing on the 19th helps; Also new layout coming