Oddity Is The New Norm

I feel refreshed and while my battle with my Eczema hasn’t been easy and I’ll have to live with it flaring up it still is manageable and I shouldn’t despair because of the fact I’ve always had it and also, it isn’t a death sentence for me. It’s hard to have that mentality of feeling like things are crashing down on you but remember to reprogram your brain and while, there can be few and far between positives, it isn’t worth worrying over because all you can do is treat the illness same with mental illness. For the longest time, I’ve let it control and dictate my actions and I’ve hurt others including my husband and thus now with a new job I am quite determined to reclaim my life as I start my job officially on July 12th, 2018, and I’ll be doing many shifts back to back through the most important part is having Monday offs for doctor appointments and such.

That drags me into the next subject: kids, wanting a family and my dog mom gave me the advice to ponder on: why do I want children? Do I want them because others have them like my cousin (she had her 6th kid already this past week) what is my reasoning? Can I give my A game for me? I am getting older and while my gynecologist eases me that my age isn’t too much of a factor it still rattles my brain. Why would I want kids? I feel like there is too much pressure from everyone to have kids and while a lot of it is old fashion like my abuelita¬†(grandmother) on my husband’s side saying that next time she sees us that we should have another body with us. I was embarrassed with it but I have to take into consideration my illness and think do I want to subject them to what I’m going through?

Abuelita and me 
I think when the time comes, I wanna do genetic testing just to see my odds at what my future child could get and while it isn’t a guarantee of anything as it gives me an estimate and mental illness skipped my brother as he joined the Marines and they don’t let anyone in. It takes training and a great fortitude of mind to commit your life to anything but perfection. The Marines are brutal for sure but while, I can still consider having kids I want to have them for the right reasons, unlike my birth. Plus, it has to be something that I must talk to my husband about to ease my misgivings on having kids but for now, I wanna focus on the reclaiming of my life.

Plus, I cut my hair again to a pixie cut.

Posted on July 5th, 2018 in Blog, pictures by Michelle. 1 Comment

I think there is a lot of pressure to want children. I know a few people who don’t want to ever have children and people always say “you will do” which is such a weird thing to say. Why not let people make their own decisions?

I’m pretty sure I want to have children at some point, but I’m not quite ready yet!
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Posted on July 14th, 2018, at 3:09 PM by Amy.

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