I feel refreshed and while my battle with my Eczema hasn’t been easy and I’ll have to live with it flaring up it still is manageable and I shouldn’t despair because of the fact I’ve always had it and also, it isn’t a death sentence for me. It’s hard to have that mentality of feeling like things are crashing down on you but remember to reprogram your brain and while, there can be few and far between positives, it isn’t worth worrying over because all you can do is treat the illness same with mental illness. For the longest time, I’ve let it control and dictate my actions and I’ve hurt others including my husband and thus now with a new job I am quite determined to reclaim my life as I start my job officially on July 12th, 2018, and I’ll be doing many shifts back to back through the most important part is having Monday offs for doctor appointments and such.
That drags me into the next subject: kids, wanting a family and my dog mom gave me the advice to ponder on: why do I want children? Do I want them because others have them like my cousin (she had her 6th kid already this past week) what is my reasoning? Can I give my A game for me? I am getting older and while my gynecologist eases me that my age isn’t too much of a factor it still rattles my brain. Why would I want kids? I feel like there is too much pressure from everyone to have kids and while a lot of it is old fashion like my abuelita (grandmother) on my husband’s side saying that next time she sees us that we should have another body with us. I was embarrassed with it but I have to take into consideration my illness and think do I want to subject them to what I’m going through?
Plus, I cut my hair again to a pixie cut.