Forgotten Yellow

Last weekend wasn’t very good because I started back into my old bad habits of feuding with my husband about everything, but whatever we feuded about didn’t matter, because today, it worked itself out. Everything works out in the end and that’s what I truly believe.


What’s the situation of us moving out? Apparently, we might not have to do that at all, and just transfer to a bigger apartment instead, as the management Lady Tracy is quite sure of and quite nice about. It helps that we pay our rent on time and make sure to be ourselves. We are both kind hearted people, quite honestly. I find my husband, Jose more kind hearted than I, as I’m more rough of the edges but alas, it’s just how we are. And it works that everything can be worth it in our budget and I get a discount for being a student at TCC. Woot.

Speaking of that, I finally filled out my FAFSA and thank goodness I got it taken care of. I’ll be fine for my fall and spring semester coming up, though what to take for fall? More math and finish up History, and possibly more English Comp II? I wanted to do Biology or P.E, but I know I have the spring semester to see about that.

I didn’t go to the Rocky Horror Show last Saturday, as too many of my friends had things come up suddenly so it was a sign not to go, but I’m determined to go to this one: May 9th

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But I did see my college’s performance of Little Shop of Horrors. I already knew how the play ended but alas, I still had a blast hanging out with my mom, her friend, and my husband and watching it. It was funnier and just all the way awesome. I cheered and loved the giant plant Audrey II. It was great and made me wanna watch the movie again(a great movie with a different ending than the play’s).

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I also saw two best friends this week: Ashley and Kristen. So that’s something and helped me laugh, and no doubt that energy is going to get me through finals week next week. I already finished one in English Comp I, but I need to do Developmental Math. Whew, that’s going to be fine. I just know it.

I’m waiting on my new glasses to be shipped back to the store. I picked some Guess frames that are quite nice. Embossed stripes on the sides with black and light brown.

I’ll be sure to post up pictures of them when I get them. It’s going to be hard to let go of these old frames because they’ve been through the best and worst with me and I feel like perhaps I’m just tossing them to the side, but it was time to better myself. What other way than to get new stuff?

New stuff on my person? Cutting hair has always been symbolic of a changing nature. I’m glad I did it. Thanks for the good response guys. It means a lot to me!

I’m still doing really good with Effexor and my sleep medication. The rest of my medication is quite stable and quite dependable. Maybe I’m too happy? There’s such a thing but I’m just glad to be me. I can’t tell you how it sucked to be a zombie for so long, a zombie. It’s like that movie Warm Bodies. I was the main zombie guy all in my head but nothing was connecting at all. I felt┬átired, exhausted, and just someone else.

If you find something that works and works well, never get rid of it. In the end, it can be a life saver and can help you in the long run. That’s what I always figured out honestly.



Posted on April 29th, 2014 in Blog, Uncategorized by Michelle. 3 Comments

Arrows of Stardust

So, my hair went bye-bye for the first time in a century(exaggeration I know) but, I finally did it. I felt like it was the right time to cut off my hair and finally, the right time to claim myself and my beauty again. For the first time in ages, I feel beautiful, for the first time in years, I feel like myself and feel like I should.




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It wasn’t a hard decision but one I had to make. I had to claim myself and my life again. Slowly, I’ve been doing that, slowly, I’ve been claiming my harmony again. It’s different and getting used to barely any hair is a challenge, but it’s worth it. I’m myself thanks to my efforts to get better, thanks to my efforts to keep myself happy.

My relationship with my husband and others are great, though I got back from a rpg binge from Bravely Default. It left me in a lull, but it’s okay. I’m sure to fill it with other meaningful things. School really doesn’t end until May 7th for me, I found out, but I’m sure to get everything done before then. I’m sure to be happier before then. I only have a few assignments to get done and I’ll be scot free for the rest of the semester. Losing that weight and cutting my hair really helped my self esteem in the greatest, and I plan to help it boost up even more when I get new glasses next week. I can’t begin to say when or how these feelings came to me, but they have. It’s better than not having feelings, you know?

I’m also selling my Sailor Moon Compacts:here, I wish you happy bidding on it if you’re interested! No international buying/shipping. Can’t afford it. Sorry.

It’s one of those things I don’t regret then, I don’t. I find there is too little time and too little to regret in life. There isn’t the time for such a thing, honestly. I really want to live the best way I can, and that usually involves no regret (but that can’t be possible.). There always will be some regret but the key is pushing past it and understanding it as a tool to help us grow and learn, that’s what I want to do, what I will continue to do. I’ve made some egregious mistakes in the past but I won’t be bounded by people’s feelings. I’ll take them into considerations but I won’t be ruled by them, like I’ve been in the past.

Seems like I’m busy until the end of this month, Monday, 4/28/14 is when my eye appointment is scheduled and I say goodbye to my new glasses, of course knowing how poor my eyesight is (hope that I gained some of it back), I might cost my husband more money than the insurance will pay. Also tax returns coming back to us. That is coming up and we are getting more money this time around and thus we can save and buy things we need like tires for the car (sorely need them. Getting to that point) and etc; I won’t bore you about the long things about what needs to be gotten, but I will say my weekend will be interesting. I’m trying to persuade my husband to go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show in Dallas. It includes a live show but going out is my favorite pastime and helps immensely with my cabin fever.

Also another play on Friday, this time, Little Shop of Horrors. You know the one, with the talking plant and whatnot. That’s going to be great. I always enjoyed that movie as a kid and thus it’s great to experience new things. Next Wednesday, 4/30/14, I have therapy and it’s going to be a shock to tell and show my therapist┬áme, the real ‘me’. The me that was hiding under nothingness and feelings of ugliness.


Posted on April 23rd, 2014 in Blog, Uncategorized by Michelle. 8 Comments