Spider’s Web Memories

Work

Having hours cut sucks but what can we do? What can I do rather than accept it? I mean I’m starting to dislike my co workers just because of their work ethic and them picking on me. I was nearly sobbing because of how bad it was and it mostly was the boy coworkers that were doing this. One punched me. One just was cruel to me. I don’t understand it? They wouldn’t help me with things at the end of the night where we all have to be a team and get it done to get home on time. 10:30 pm is all we have when 9pm rolls around. I feel like getting out of retail but I have no degree, and, honestly, this is bullshit that I cannot do more for myself and husband. Who is this job helping? It’s making me selfish. I’ll pay off the car and that’s it. I’m tired of being held to standards that are near perfection. I cannot do it. It stresses me out and each time I am chewed out and I don’t mean to take it personally, but knowing that I fail all the time, hurts.  Tomorrow afternoon, I’ll be written up because I happened to be over 5.20 USD over and anything 5 dollars and over is my fault. One write up can lead to others and all it takes is three to be fired. No amount of being a ‘great’ worker and/or a team player can save me from that. I’m worthless in retail. I am glad that my hours are cut because honestly, I’m thinking of finding another job, which I will. Something not completely retail and not enough stress.

Relationships

My marriage is on rocks all because I keep being selfish like my mother but I cannot be sad or ‘play a victim’ all because I do genuinely do feel like a garbage human being. It can’t be all that bad, right? I cried a lot but it’s better now. I guess I’m lucky to have a very doting and loving husband. I am LUCKY but who knows why I deserve this. I guess everyone deserves happiness and love unless you scorn it and whatnot. I guess that’s just life because you cannot go alone even if you try to. Life isn’t a solitary journey, it’s just one filled with relationships.

Pictures

New glasses
Comedy show which was fun and crass, too

Anime

Summary: After his hometown is destroyed and his mother is killed, young Eren Yeager vows to cleanse the earth of the giant humanoid Titans that have brought humanity to the brink of extinction. … Set in a fantasy world, mankind is driven to the brink of extinction by mindless, man-eating giants known as Titans.

Finally caught up with season 3 with all its twists and turns, realizing that there are more than titans that are the enemies but people, too. Funny how the biggest threats are ourselves. Remember this anime? It was called Game of Thrones Anime because of the death and it continues the tradition of that. I cannot wait for season 4 in 2020.

Birthday Month

August 8th is my birthday and I’m turning 30 thus, I am worried for the future ahead and how I’m so close to death but in reality, I want to make sure that I can really live and enjoy it. I always manage not to work on my birthday for some reason or another. Glad that my husband, Jose has it off too. I cannot wait to enjoy my birthday ^^

 

Posted on August 2nd, 2019 in Blog, pictures by Michelle. 5 Comments


I’m sorry to hear your job is not going well. ):

I got inpatient so I read the manga to Attack on Titan. Nothing was surprising for me but it was awesome getting to see that part animated.

I think we all have moments were we feel like we don’t deserve what we got. But you can’t let yourself think like that.

The big 3-0 huh? I told everyone I was turning 29 again. LOL I’m not going to be 33 uuugggg

Posted on August 4th, 2019, at 10:07 AM by Kenny.

Things will get better for you at work and at home. Just hang in there. 🙂

You’re gorgeous as always. And happy birthday, Michelle. <3

Posted on August 4th, 2019, at 2:11 PM by Sakura.

Happy birthday in advance!

Have you thought of doing a degree part time? That can help you get out of retail and enough of the toxic work relationships.

I had bad moments with my (ex)colleagues before but none of them were physical. Emotional abuse, yes, but never physical ones.

Posted on August 12th, 2019, at 8:44 PM by Jane.

Happy belated birthday! I hope you enjoyed it!

I’m also thankful you’re well. <3

Posted on August 14th, 2019, at 3:11 AM by Tiffany.

That really does suck but it seems like your co-workers suck even more if they did any of this with or even without cameras around report them to your superior, and if that doesn’t work go to their superior and/or HR. I know it sucks when coworkers don’t do their job and they get paid for it and they seem like they are getting more out of this job than you are and you are being unfairly targeted and punished. I’ve been there and no one wanted to do anything about it. Also, some retail jobs are better and worst than others like I would never recommend a gas stations tbh. Retail can be so rewarding and so hateful.

I hope that your relationship gets better. <3

Those are really cute glasses, and that is a very cute picture of you.

Never watched or read any of Attack on Titan, is that summary for the season or the whole show?

Happy late Birthday!